Friday, August 21, 2009

Time Flies

It was such a long time i didnt write my blog, it is all due to the slow connection in the cyber cafe of KMNS and the number of PC here was just around 30+ which is really not enough especially during weekend. I am not satisfied with my UPS result at all especially my chemistry....i want to recheck but i t was not allowed even the answer papers were not return to the students. I don't know why they have this kind of system. The lecturers kept ask us not to look back just learn from mistake which we had done before...i felt that they are so funny. We did what mistake that we had done in the exam so how can we learn from it? So weird.... So, during the tutorial, i bravely ask my lecturer this question but she cant reply me with the accurate answer, she just turn back to the tutorial questions....

This is Fade......

But, We can still alter it with our determination.....

I hope.....

Friday, July 24, 2009

KB~ I am back!

Yea! Lastly, i can have my home-cook food with my family which is more delicious, more hygenic and more healthy than the food sold in KMNS! Can you believe that before this in KMNS, i ate kangkung with newspaper inside? "Newspaper!" at that moment i saw the news paper inside my plate, i felt that i really want to throw the whole plate of kangkung on the stall owner face! If the food is not delicious is OK for me but if the food is not hygenic, i will become MAD! I hate unhygenic food stall! However i didnt when to the stall to argue with the stall owner, i am not good in argueing =.='' but one of my friend from Kuantan took the whole plate of kangkung to the stall and showed it to the stall owner but the stall owner just gave him a normal reaction and ask " Nak Tukar Ke?"..... I will report as soon as i find the time to write the letter but i think the college won't take any action. This is the norm for them, if there is no student who died or hospitalise because of food poisoning, they will just ignore it!

Before i came back to KB, i went to Genting with my family. My brother as usual with his sleepy face... but... now he always busy sending sms... 3 min per 1 sms... and i know who the messages were sending to... ^^ but after sometimes, i felt that it was very annoying indeed, when my mum or dad talk to him, he will not reply them directly but after he finished sending his messages then he will just reply them.... and when i talk to him.... same treament! Hor! Hor! Hor! This is so rude! I found out that he now treating everyone with this kind of attitude, msm 1st, talk 2nd... after his L-life start! I don't know what to say but i just feel that it is not necessary to be so "devoted" in sms-ing his beloved GF and treat all the family members like vapour in the air... I hope that his academic result won't be affected but this is impossible i know... What i can do now is pray for him that his dear GF will inspired him to study and they wont face any problem untill thier SPM end. As i know, if there is anything happen, which lead to break-up, it is not good for both of them... and i ask my mum not to argue with him anymore but guide him, he is not that kind of boy that receive harsh comments and he don't like to be controlled by others, not even my dad... I really worried about that but not much that i can do now, Negeri 9 is so far from Kelantan and i can't come back home every weekend... sad..

1 week passed, but the assignment which i brought back to KB still kept inside my luggage... Oh this is not good! Next week will be a busy week for me!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

16 July 09....

Woke up early in the morning, about 5.30 am, with a sadful soul.......

Althought i had classes today, but i planned to skip all the classes, inorder to attend my uncle's cremation ceremony.

In the past few days, I was so shocked when my cousin told me that my uncle was in critical condition and we prayed that he will get well soon, but fate always twist and turn...... and in the very morning of 14 July...I receive a message from my cousin, nervousness began to flush into my mind, i don't know what happened........ I was told that my uncle already rested in peace...... tear rolling in my eyes, i freezed on my bed for a few minutes..... Why it happened so fast? why? and i was furious, why my parents didnt told me that uncle was in critical condition before this?! I study at Negeri Sembilan and it is quite near to KL, and i should visit him. I feel so... so...regret...why i didnt ask my cousin earlier...

I knew that the ceremony will be held on 16 July, and coinsidently my exam is over in the morning of 15 July. After my physics paper, i quickly rushed to HEP and all the Subject Unit to take permission from the lecturers to leave the college tomorrow. Every lecturer seemed to be so helpful and cooperate but the last and the most "powerful" one is not so helpful. He was one of my college Pen. Ketua Pensyarah , he seemed didnt trust me at all.... i felt so mad that time.... will anyone use this to be an excuse to 'ponteng' class? He said that my parents should write a letter .... I said that this is an emergency, i am not able to ask my parents wrote the letter right now! I was so puzzled....stared at him, i don't know what to say....i just repeat and repeat my words "Tuan, Ini Emergency! ..." Then he just sign the letter for me........thanks god......

In that morning of 16 July, i quickly call Uncle Quan (Kereta Sapu) to fetch me up at 6.15am. The Pak Guard and Mak Guard were shocked when they saw me standing at the guard booth there early in the morning, i gave them the signed letter and they let me out, the Mak Guard who was on duty that day was so friendly indeed, she told me that it was better for me to come back to college before 7pm but it is ok if i late, she knew my situation indeed.... thank a lot ....

After reaching Seremban, i took KTM to Mid-Valley to meet my cousin there, but on the way to Mid-Valley, my cousin called me and told me that my KTM will stop at Kajang to give way to another train, so that mean i not able to reach there before the ceremony start...Oo...NO! However i still determined to go, i just sat on the commuter and just see whether the train will stop at Kajang or not.. Thanks God! it is not this commuter, it is another commuter which have to stop, so i was able to reach Mid-Valley and meet with my cousin there. After reaching the station, we quickly rushed to where the ceremony held.

When we reached there, i saw all my relative already there, with sadness on their face, I stood there with speechless, don't know what to say. It was so sad indeed...indeed...At the end of the ceremony I saw my late uncle was lying peacefully in the coffin and i can feel that peacefulness in my soul also. I knew that he didnt suffer from any pain and sickness now...

I believe god love uncle so much, he don't want uncle to suffer any longer... so he took uncle back with him to heaven....Which my uncle will live peacefully there ....with angles and our god....

Still.... deep in my heart i really hope my uncle can live more longer, why it happened so fast.....god.....god is the one who make the decision .....with reason.....god really love uncle....and he don't want uncle to suffer anymore i believe..........

Monday, July 13, 2009

Holiday coming soon, but....UPS 1st ....

Yea!!! Next week will be our semester break ^.^ i hope that the day will come soon. However, before we go back to our lovely home, we have to endure with our UPS. Every subjects just 1 hour , contains 4 question for physics and chemistry papers and 7 question for mathematics paper. For the english paper, 2 comprehension and 1 essay, it is not as easy as we think it will be..... and my preparation for UPS is just 50 % i think, so i do hope that the math and phys paper which will be tested on tomorrow and the day after tomorrow will be not as hard my 1st physics quiz which failed me! This UPS marks will be added into our final exam marks. Althought it is just 10 marks but i think it is very important for me, very important indeed for a careless person such as me!

For the chemistry paper, althought it is not very hard but i did many carelesss mistake which i cannot forgive myself...

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Please Don't Stop The Muzic...

Life here in KMNS was somehow appear to be a hectic one, and i always feel very boring as there are only a few entertainment available here.... To overcome this kind of feeling, my earphone are always on my ears. I enjoy hearing musiz nowadays, especially when doing my homeworks, It is such a totally 180' degree change! Before this, when i study or doing homeworks, i must have a quite surrounding.

This week and last week has no different at all, every minute was so important, not to study but to complete my assignment and tutorial work.... =.='' What a sad thing....haiz.... i just hope in the coming week i will have more free time, to make revision and to play badmiton as others did!!! I want to play badminton so eagerly!!! Give me the time!!!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Times~Limit!

Although it is not hard for me to live independently but life in Metrics is very hectic and tiring for me. Everyday study from 8am untill 4pm, tired and exausting. During the 2nd week, every night, i had to discuss with my group's members about the english project, paper works, modal, presentations....it is very tired and i hate it. When i was back in my room, i was very tired indeed and i directly jump onto the bed and slept, leaving all my tutorial works on the table. I am second intake so i felt that what i need is to spend more time on study, doing tutorial works and revision, not on the presentation, project works or anything else that are not so important. I had many things to catch up with! I always "fishing" during the Lecturer classes nowadays....zzz...especially during the afternoon classes as before this i normally will have a nap during afternoon.

After the 2nd week, i thought that i will have my free time at night, yet another assignment waiting for me, the PRD's(Persatuan Rakan Dinamik) assignment. This is an extra co-curricular group that i participated in and very unfortunately i had been choosen to enter the Academics Group. It was such a disaster for me as i had to waste my time during night to discuss with my group members about the assignment. We had been given 1 week time to complete this task. For my group, we must 'present' Physics chapter 1 in the tutorial class next week every night from 8pm till 10pm. We will act like the lecturers, explaining the notes, give question to the students and answer the students questions. We will be judge by the students based on our performance and the will mark us. Therefore, we have to sacrifice our time to find the materials from the reference books in library and make some notes on the chapter that we will present next week then retype it again. Again, i have no time to do my revision.

The library was first the most condusive place to study and to have group discussion for me but just a few days ago, when i was doing my lab reports with my practicum's friends the ground floor, the libririan use the PA system to order all of us at the ground floor of the library to surrender our Metrics-card and i felt it is not fair for me and my friends who did not made any noise at all! Besides, we had to 'redeem' our card at OSC(one stop centre) and we had been given the 1st warning! It was very unfair for us indeed. The libririan was so 'EGO' indeed, he didnt want to hear our explaintion at all! Phew~!!! I am very furious about this as we had given 3 chances only, after the 3rd warning and there will be 'A-black-dot' in our school leaving cert which will affect our university application...

Life~Twisting~Time~Limited~

Friday, May 29, 2009

KMNS Life~

Here am i, first time stepped on the Negeri Sembilan's ground. Hmm..... feel so different indeed... very different from Kota Bharu. KMNS was situated on the valley, with several mountains around. The environment here was very nice, just the hostel is a little bit old. Anyway, it was not as worst as i think before.

From the moment i made my decision to take metriculation, i knew that i must really work hard. "Metriculation is not as easy as you think!!!"especially for those second intake one.This is what i learned after staying here for several days. We must catch up many things that we missed, the tutorial works, the assignments, the projects......WEW!!! So tired indeed!!! Here, i have to wash my clothes by myself, arrange my time table properly, self-study and group study. I have to change my life style now, there will be no ASTRO, no Home-cook foods....

However, i still can enjoy my life here, be an independent boy. My roomates were all malay, 1 from Machang, 1 from Puchong, Selangor and 1 from Klang Valley there... They are so nice and humble, very humble indeed. They are very hard-working too, they will study till 1am++.... Me? After I completed some assignments then i will directly went to sleep. I felt so emberassed....haha....but i was really really tired that time, as i had to attend the boring orientation programmes every night for nearly 2 hours.....zzz.... There were nearly 20 chinese in this 2nd intake class. All of them are genius indeed, OMG, nearly all of them scored straight!!! Some from perak, some from penang, some from sabah and some from pahang. We planed to have an outing tommorow to seremban for "TERMINATOR SLAVATION" , huhu.. i am not able to go with them as i had 1 english project to complete =.='' I was so lucky that my class had 4 chinese, 1 indian and 18 malay, a well mixed class for me. Some of them are very enjoyable to talk, some are very dull, some are very serious and some are very "hiao" indeed....haha..... i still remain what i am ..... lol.... sometimes can chat till "Siao" sometime very cool...

The foods here were not as delicious as what Kelantan had of course but still 'eatable'...haha....nearly everyday curry chicken, mixed vege, eggs and a cup of teh-tarik , milo, or nescafe. OMG!!! the drinks here contain nearly 80% of sugar rather than milo or nescafe =.=
i can dilute it with my drinking water for 3 times...... still nothing changed much....... it was so 'think' indeed!!! I think i suffer from diabetese soon if i drink it everyday for 1 year... really had to think another way to make me some 'healthy-drinks'. I missed home-cooked , kelantan nasi dagang......=.=''

Their dialete here also very different from kelantan dialete indeed and their style is different. I know this from our college' Ketua Pensyarah. He gave us a talk with many dialete which i didnt heard before like 'mampoi', 'ketiao'....??? What is this??? haha..... anyway, he was an enjoyble man... i didnt saw any 'principle' like this before... He like simple formal wear... This made me and guo jing thought that he was a 'Penjaga' at the first sight we saw him.....hahaa... Some lecturers are so dedicated like my math and physics tutor, some are very very damn boring and lazy......zzz..... differnt people diffent style.... anyway i had to suite myself here, form my study group and be more determined and hard-working than before :)

*there will be many wrong words, no time checking, forgive me....

Thursday, May 21, 2009

~Another Dillema~

Another dillema!!!

Exausted to think, to consider and to discuss........

It was 12.20am in the midnight of 21 May, while i was chatting with some of my friends, teck reminded me to check for the result of Matriculation 2nd intake (reappeal). Deep in my heart, i know that there is just a mere 1% to get it as i didnt appeal through paper work, sending letter or anything else as what my other friends did. What i did is just click on the 'Rayuan Semula" letters appear on the screen. So i didn't think much about it.

..........................................................................................................................................................................

The result, however, turned to be an unexpected "Taniah"!!! I was so happy and excited at that moment as i thought all my friends who reappeal through paper work will also get it. But, the result, again, turned to be an unexpectable one--......'No'...... I felt very weird and confusing indeed. Anyone can explain to me why? Before that i felt very happy but after that i felt worry~ don't know why....

In the morning, i just found out 1 friends who got it also guo jing!....just one! anyway really thanks God ady...

When i discussed this matter with my parents in the morning, they disagreed with my decision to study at Matric. My dad thought that Matriculation's standard not recognised, so it was just a waste of time. For mum, she thought that i am not mentally or physically prepared yet....(=.=''), early-cool-shower, self-study, self-washing, sharing room with strangers..........hmmm....... for me, this can trained me to a more mature and independent man. After all, they said it all depend on myself, so i have to decide myself......

Until now, i am still wondering, can i adapt the environment there, the new friends there and the new rules there??? i don't know......I just have 2 days to decide, as this 25 May is the registratin day........God, please show me the way, STAY oR NOT-STAY????

Blood Donation~

I was so excited when i knew that there will be a blood donation held in SMCH. This was the first time i felt the urge to donate my blood, although i am a blood-phobia, XP, but i was still eager to donate my blood.

It was MT1 class and most of us (nearly 30++ student in L6SB) purposely took the chances to do some 'charity'- donate blood at that period =.=' When i stepped into the carpark where the Blood Donation was held, i saw one packages of fresh BLOOD! i smelt the salty smell of the BLOOD! The smell was so unbearable, it made me feel so....so.....uncomfortable indeed. When i filling up the form, my hand turn "soft" after i saw the blood oozing out from one of the donater's hand into the tube. Anyway, i remained still, yet i am still determined to donate!

When i went to the 2nd counter to check my blood pressure, the medical staff told me that my blood pressure was very low indeed, just 80++ (normal blood pressure 110++), so he ask me to eat somethings first before 2nd round of rechecking. The second-round checking showed that my b.p still low but it passed the requirement....Anyway, he adviced me not to donate my blood......T.T.......The main reason as the midical staff told me why my b.p remain low was not enough sleep. Ohh....how do i know that???

Next time if i want to donate blood, i must sleep early and eat eat breakfast in first!!!

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Vampire Life stYle

What a tired day! Yesterday i slept at 1 am and wake up at 5.30am, when i looked into the mirror, hell! Panda's eyes....i am still sleepy.........but........i can't just continue to sleep again, so i just force myself walked to the washroom and splashed some cold-icy water on my face. After bathing, when i wanted to eat my breakfast, i saw the time showed on the clock was 6.40am already, phew!!! i must rush to school before 6.55am as i will duty at GATE B this whole week.... so i just swallowed in every thing that my mouth can take in!

Luckily, there is no traffic-jam today, so i managed to be at school before 6.55am (^.^), what a relief for me, i felt so good indeed, haha, no need to be "marked up". Although i was really sleepy but luckily i managed to 'control' my eyes during biology period and math T1 period...hehe....Last period was a free period for us but we have a lot of homeworks to do, so there was no time for me to continue my sleep =.='

After lunch and bathing, i took out all the homeworks from the school bag and i sweared to myself that i will complete all the homeworks before i went to sleep. However the windy weather and the warm bed beside me made me felt so....so....sleepy!!! I cannot stand it anymore, so i just jump onto my bed and sleep......forgotten to turn on the Alarm and i slept for 3 hours!!! Just imagine, a 3-hours-nap!!! OMG, tonight i will bcome a midnight cat and tomorrow i will tranform to a panda bear with two deep and round black eyes.... =.=''

This habit really need to be change as soon as possible......really.....this is not a human life i think........but.....a vampire life.....=.=''

Friday, May 15, 2009

Procrastination Will Kill

The school had just started it 1st day and i had became blur with Math T2, and this is not good. My tuition's homeworks which i haven't complete yet were piled on my desk, my Math T1 and T2 questions , Muet's report, chemistry's exercise....the list go on and on...... I think that was just normal and easy to complete but when i try to complete it in one time, i found that it was very difficult indeed, not because i didnt have enough time but i can't remeber the steps to do it, especially for math exercises and chemistry exercises. Therefore, what the senior in Upper 6 told me before this is true.........."Procrastination Kill!!!" ......

I think that my form5-study-style must not be applied in form 6 anymore, form 5 and form 6 is two total different level! different situation! and different world! We cannot just leave our homeworks there and just do it on the day we want to hand up to our teacher =.=' It was indeed a hard situation for me who had became lazier these day ~.~'

Sleep earlier and wake up earlier is also another 'skill' that i had to adapt now!!! =.='' althought i love to be a midnight cat.....but i had no choice....so i must just be patience and determine inorder to complete this F6, there is no return :)

Thursday, May 14, 2009

mY cLass- L6SB

"Wow!!! So many people!!!", that's s the words i uttered when i knew that my class consists of more than 50 students~ So many new friends to greet and to know :) It was our 1st day in class, so most of teachers just brief us on the subject that they will teach soon and we must buy our text book as soon as posibble, especially biology =.='' Most of the books that the teachers want us to buy and is Logman =.='' i think soon the company will change the name to 'Richman'! As most of the form 6 teachers were using this books! But honestly it was the best of the best, good authors, good exercises... that's what our chemistry teacher, Pn.Quek told us....

On the first period, we were told to choose our class monitor, 5 people was selected (include Xjie and Rikye)...but the one who was elected by the majority vote was our new friend from Chung Cheng. I feel that he was the most suitable candidate, a dedicated and responsible class monitor indeed, indeed...haha... this make me missed Nur and Biou so much.... *.*''

On this particular first day in the class, our dedicated young MT2, Miss XXX( i forgot her name =.='' ) had started to teach us chapter 5. Oh My God, i was so blur, i was confused, what "Stem and Leaf...thing" and the exercise that she gave us, was very confusing @.@..... i became so blur.....haha......i think this is normal, especially for me as my mind has rusted, stopped 'working' for nearly 6 month. This is now the time to 'wake up'!!! I dont want to let my history to repeat in my life anymore! Miss XXX voice was so low, luckily i sat infront(as usual)....... She was nearly fall down on her high heel shoes as the level of the ground was uneven(there is a 'small stage' infront the whiteboard)... phew... =.='' luckily she didnt....luckily...

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

2nd day of Orientation---boring to excited

It was so so boring indeed, all the talks made me, who was a midnight cat more and more sleepy and my eye kept looking on the ground... luckily i still can stand it, acting like i was a patience listener there.

Prefects were then told to help to introduce every parts and corners of the school for the new comers, haha, i am so excited and turn out to be so energitic. I think work as a tour guide very suide me, hmmm.... maybe i will work as a part-time TG in the future. I try my best to introduce all the part of the Chung Hwa school to a group of new comers, even i was sweating untill my back was soaking in sweat :) They are so excited to go to library and staff room. Why? They said "as there have air-conditioner" =.='' but sadly at that particular moment our school electric broke down. Ooo....so sad.....

U6SP and U6SB class was situated on the 3rd floor of the KH Room building, many pupils felt weird as our class being placed at the building. As most of the pupils thought that the place was spooky. I think it based on people, some think that it is windy, some think that it is spooky...... Every 1 Has Their Own Story.......

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

1st Day of Orientation

The 1st day of Orientation, hmmm...... quite a boring for me. first of all, the ice-breaking game seemed to became ice-building game. Haahaa... i thought in this activity all of us will have the chance to know each others more , especially those from other schools, but sadly, most of the participaters(us lol) are lazy and shy. Lazy- to walk and greet others. Shy- to talk to others. Haahaa, i think that is normal, either for girls or boys. For me, i was not really in the mood, i was so sleepy indeed as i slept late last night, i just stayed there with my already-know-friends but i am not the only one who did that , it seemed that 95% of the boy was glued to the ground. But after the upper 6 fassis kept pursuading us to move around, then our legs just move.... Ooo.... i cannot re-imagine that scene, it was so 'funny', an ice-breaking game became an ice-building game for us....lolx... however things didnt turn cool down as our batch have some really sporty, cheerful and active girls, haha....

Next was the motivation talks, hmmm.... everyone seem to be so sleepy and bored... but in this talk, many pupils get to know each others (why?? as they sat there, do nothing and just start to talks to each others, ignored the teacher who carried out the talks =.=' ) But when it came to Mr Choo, our school principal who presented the talk, all of the pupils become so "interesting" in that talk and kept quite, haha, it was pupil's normal reaction i think.... but Mr.Choo's talk was serious and some of it really made me realised something.... 'everyone have their own "nasib" and we must accept it, and keep going on, this is life"....... The talk which was presented by Mr. Lau, our school former caunsellor, also make me realise something, "The happiest people don't have everything in life. They just make the best of everything that life brings their way"........

After the talks, we made some personality test( again!? i have did that for more than 8 times!) But, the result are clearer now and i agreed with that result, i am more toward Investigative! so that mean i choosed the correct class (BIO)..... haha :)

"Step by step....be more patience...." that is what i believe ....

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Sleepless Night

Yesterday evening was quite fun, going friend's house party, eat nasi kerabu which was one of my favourite hometown dish. Thanks a lot friends~ if not, i will end up sitting in my house 24-hours like a security guard.

I slept late in the night, about 1am. But i keep woke up from my dreams, bad dreams. I didnt know why i will feel so insecure, so lonely and so desperate. Maybe my heart are not yet prepare to face the cruel reality. Isn't sometimes reality is too cruel for us??? What kept appearing on my mind is my going-to-start-soon Form 6 life. I really scare i couldn't make it. Thinking of that, i remember how my most-trusted subject turned me down, Pendidikan Moral. The moment i took the slip peperiksaan, i was paralised, doomed, oh my god, why? i thought it might be account or additional math that got B3. At that moment, my mind went blank, what happened? After went back home, i call my cousin and broke down into tears......... my mum think that i should go rechecking, so did i, but yeaterday, i received my rechecking result's letter, it turn out to be "KEKAL", ohh!!! It is so hard to accept, i just hope that they can send me back my paper, i wanted to know what the stupid question that i did wrong....

Just 2 hours more, i will have to go back to school, to register myself for form 6. Form 6 life was so unpredictable for me. Will it turn out to be a colourful one? an enjoyable one?or it will turn out to be a dark one? With almost 90% of friends dissapear...i dont think my cheerful smile will ever appear on my face again. Will it end out to be a stressful one? or a normal one? For me, what i want is only a peaceful life, a normal life that give me the chance to study and put most of my concentration on my study and not other thing else. Lord, please help me!

Besides all the passive idea on my mind, i still think that form 6 life will able to change my life PerspeCtive, my point of View and my StyLe. I also think form 6 life will make me more mature and make me prepare myself fully to face the life in the future. What i wish now is to put all the concentration on my study and do as well as i can in Form 6. I hope to rebuild my self-confident as soon as possible. It is not the end yet, i know, it is not The End, It just a START!!!

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Tired

Today is my last day of teaching form 2 mm tuition, i am so happy indeed but deep in my heart i am not so willing of giving up teaching them. However, sometimes they are very playful and talkative utill i fell that i want to smack their face and stormmed out from the class ......"Geramnya"..... My school holiday will soon come to an end and i have to go back to school with my rusted brain and a lonely heart. Loneliness has haunted me since yesterday, as i realise more and more friends will soon leave KB. It is so hard for me to keep stop thinking of them, imagining the situation i was sitting alone in L6SB without any soul mate beside, without any best friends that can chit-chat. Now, another evil have sipped into my soul -"Depression". I am depressed as i still doubtful of what i really wanted to choose in the future....really....but my cousin words make me realise something. "In this world, we can't find any way what we really 100% want, but we must try our best to choose what we like the most". The moment i heard of that word, i still confusing. However, I realise it now, i can't be so "picky", it will make me misjudge my sitution and fall into a dillema..... a long, time-consuming dillema.